1.Crakows—The Ridiculously Long Shoes of Medieval Europe
Imagine walking down a cobblestone street in 14th-century Europe, only to find yourself tripping over your own shoes—on purpose. Crakows, also known as poulaines, were the medieval equivalent of extreme fashion, defined by their absurdly long, pointed toes. These outlandish shoes could extend up to 24 inches beyond the foot, making them not only impractical but also a blatant symbol of wealth and status. The trend, which originated in Kraków, Poland, quickly spread across Europe, particularly among the nobility of England and France. The longer the toe, the higher the wearer’s social standing, with some aristocrats even tying the tips of their shoes to their knees with chains to avoid tripping.
But fashion came at a price. The exaggerated shape of crakows forced wearers to adopt unnatural walking postures, leading to foot deformities like bunions and hallux valgus. The trend became so extreme that it prompted King Edward IV of England to impose sumptuary laws in the 15th century, restricting toe lengths to two inches for commoners and six inches for merchants. By the late 1400s, the crakow craze had faded, replaced by the more practical—but still flamboyant—”bear-paw” shoes, marking the end of one of history’s most impractical fashion statements.
2.Powdered Wigs Infested with Bugs and Lice
Few fashion trends in history were as elaborate—and as unsanitary—as the powdered wig. A staple of European aristocracy in the 17th and 18th centuries, these wigs, also known as perukes, were more than just a status symbol. They were a practical solution to hair loss, often caused by syphilis, though this connection is partly a myth. Made from human or animal hair, wigs required extensive maintenance, including regular powdering with flour or starch to maintain their pristine white appearance. Unfortunately, this practice created the perfect breeding ground for lice, mites, and even small vermin. Some wig-wearers resorted to using special tools called “wig scratchers” to alleviate the constant itching without disturbing their carefully styled hairpieces.
Hygiene concerns aside, these wigs also posed unexpected dangers. The powders used for styling often contained highly flammable substances, leading to instances where wigs caught fire from nearby candles. Despite these drawbacks, powdered wigs remained fashionable for nearly two centuries, especially among judges, military officers, and the wealthy elite. The trend finally declined in the late 18th century, hastened by a tax on hair powder introduced by British Prime Minister William Pitt in 1795. By the early 19th century, the era of towering, lice-infested wigs had come to an end, replaced by more practical hairstyles.
3.Farthingales—The Hoop Skirts That Made Sitting Impossible
Fashion has never shied away from impracticality, but few trends have made everyday life as cumbersome as the farthingale. This rigid, hoop-supported skirt, which originated in Spain in the late 1400s, was designed to create a dramatically structured silhouette. Initially known as the verdugado, it featured hoops made from Spanish verdugo reeds. By the early 1500s, Catherine of Aragon introduced the farthingale to England, setting off a trend that would dominate European fashion for over a century.
Farthingales came in various shapes, from the early conical Spanish style to the later French “wheel farthingale,” which extended horizontally like a drum. The hoops, often made from whalebone, wood, or wire, gave skirts an exaggerated width that signaled wealth and status. The more fabric used, the more affluent the wearer appeared. Yet, this ostentatious garment was notoriously inconvenient. Sitting in a chair? Nearly impossible. Women had to perch on the edge or lean against specially designed furniture. Walking through narrow doorways required careful maneuvering, and the sheer width of the skirt made social interactions—like passing through a crowded ballroom—a logistical challenge.
Despite its impracticality, the farthingale remained a fashion staple well into the early 17th century before evolving into the equally cumbersome panniers and crinolines. While modern fashion still prioritizes aesthetics over function, few styles have physically constrained their wearers quite like this Renaissance-era hoop skirt.
4.Chopines—Platform Shoes That Reached Dangerous Heights
If you think modern platform shoes are impractical, wait until you hear about chopines. These towering shoes, popular in Renaissance Venice between the 15th and 17th centuries, could reach staggering heights of up to 20 inches (50 cm). Originally designed as overshoes to protect wearers from muddy streets, chopines quickly became a symbol of wealth and social status. The taller the platform, the more important the wearer—though walking in them required significant skill (or, more often, assistance).
Crafted from wood or cork and often covered in luxurious fabrics like velvet and brocade, chopines were as much fashion statements as they were hazards. Venetian women, particularly courtesans and aristocrats, wore them to tower above the crowds, literally elevating their status. However, the impracticality of these shoes was legendary—wearers frequently needed servants or canes for balance, and missteps could lead to serious injury.
Despite their absurdity, chopines remained in vogue for centuries before fading out in favor of more practical footwear. Today, they serve as a reminder of how far people have gone in the name of fashion—sometimes at the risk of life and limb.
5.Ruffs—The Giant Collars That Restricted Movement
If you think modern fashion can be impractical, wait until you hear about ruffs—the enormous, starched collars that dominated European fashion from the mid-16th to the early 17th century. Originally a modest ruffle at the neckline of a shirt, ruffs quickly evolved into elaborate, detachable accessories that could extend up to a foot in diameter. Crafted primarily from linen cambric or lawn and stiffened with starch imported from the Low Countries, these collars became a symbol of wealth and aristocratic status. Some were so extravagant that they required wire or wooden frameworks to maintain their structure.
Wearing a ruff wasn’t just about making a fashion statement—it dictated posture and movement. The stiff, circular collar forced the wearer to hold their head high, reinforcing an air of dignity and authority. However, this came at a cost. Ruffs severely restricted mobility, making it difficult to turn one’s head, eat without soiling the fabric, or even engage in casual conversation. Despite these challenges, the upper classes embraced them as a visual marker of refinement and social superiority.
By the early 17th century, ruffs began to fall out of favor, replaced by more practical falling bands and wing collars. Yet their legacy endures, influencing theatrical costumes, historical reenactments, and even high-fashion collections today.
6.Lead-Based Face Powder—The Deadly Pursuit of Pale Skin
For centuries, pale skin was the ultimate status symbol. In an era when a sun-kissed complexion signified outdoor labor, aristocrats and the wealthy sought an unnaturally white face to showcase their privileged lifestyle. Enter Venetian ceruse, a lead-based cosmetic used from the 16th to 18th centuries that promised a flawless, porcelain complexion—but at a deadly cost.
This so-called beauty product was made by mixing white lead (lead carbonate) with vinegar, creating a thick paste that could be applied to the face, neck, and décolletage. The immediate effect was striking: a ghostly white visage that masked blemishes and scars. Queen Elizabeth I of England, one of its most famous users, relied on Venetian ceruse to conceal smallpox scars, unknowingly poisoning herself over time. The more she used it, the worse her skin became—leading to an ever-increasing dependence on the toxic powder.
The dangers of lead poisoning weren’t fully understood at the time, but the symptoms were unmistakable. Users suffered from hair loss, muscle paralysis, neurological damage, and even organ failure. Prolonged exposure caused the skin to wrinkle and gray prematurely, ironically forcing wearers to apply even more powder. Some even experienced mental confusion, infertility, and death. Despite these horrific side effects, lead-based cosmetics remained popular until the late 18th century, when safer alternatives like zinc oxide emerged.
Today, lead in cosmetics is strictly regulated, with bans in place across most countries. However, the tragic legacy of Venetian ceruse serves as a cautionary tale: the pursuit of beauty has often come at an unimaginable cost.
7.Bombasting—Padding Clothes with Straw for a Fuller Look
Fashion has always been about making a statement, but few trends took this idea as literally as bombasting—the Renaissance practice of stuffing clothing with various materials to create exaggerated silhouettes. Originating in the 16th and early 17th centuries, this trend saw both men and women padding their garments with cotton, horsehair, wool, sawdust, and even straw to project a more imposing appearance. The term “bombast,” now used to describe grandiose speech, actually comes from this fashion practice, where clothes were stuffed to unnatural proportions.
For men, bombasting was particularly popular in Elizabethan and Tudor England, where aristocrats sought to display power and status through broad, padded shoulders, barrel-like chests, and bulging sleeves. A well-stuffed doublet or trunk hose suggested wealth, as the extra material required was expensive. Women, too, embraced the trend, using padding to enhance their skirts and gowns, creating dramatic hourglass figures. However, the look came at a cost—these garments were hot, heavy, and often itchy, with stuffing that could shift uncomfortably or even attract insects.
Despite its impracticality, bombasting remained fashionable for decades before eventually giving way to more streamlined silhouettes. Though the trend is long gone, its influence lingers in modern fashion, where structured padding and exaggerated shapes continue to make bold sartorial statements.
